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13 Foods That Kill 

For years now, we’ve been bombarded with ever changing lists of foods that are bad for our health. Eggs, coffee, alcohol, red meat….the list has been endless. All these foods that will cause us to have high cholestrol, clogged arteries and general flux of the innards.

Now, eDiets.com has come up with the ultimate “one-up” list. Foods that could just outright kill us if we’re stupid enough. With the recent outbreak of E. coli contamination in spinach, I’m really not surprised that this list came to be. What bugs the hell out of me though, is that this list is nothing but pure fear mongering. We should all know and be aware that foods not properly prepared, stored or cooked is asking for trouble. But just how stupid do these “doctors” think the general public is?

Apparently very. For example, number 2 on the list is: Water. Yes, the very foundation of our existence could kill us. The article warns that water from wells/private streams is especially at high risk for contamination and people who get their water from a public utilty should make themselves familar with the yearly consumer confidence analysis report on the local water supply, making sure it continues to be safe to drink.

Well duhhh!! I would think that people who have wells would be extra aware of making sure the quality of their water is safe, since afterall, they have to drink it, cook with it and bathe with it. Those folks who use the public water supply, granted, may not have to be as extra aware as it’s the responsibilty of the town/city/municipality to keep the water supply safe, but certainly consumers should pay attention to any reports on the water quality. Kind of a no-brainer if you ask me. (But nobody did.)

Also on the list of Killer Foods: moldy peanuts. Moldy peanuts? Hello?? Is there some sub-culture I’m not aware of that goes around eating moldy peanuts? What moron would eat moldy peanuts? What moron would eat moldy anything?! Bread, for example, is not like bananas. When banananas go from green to yellow, they’re ready to eat. When bread goes from white to green, it’s ready to go in the trash! 

Moldy peanuts, incidentally, have little white spores on ‘em. Do not eat peanuts with little white spores on them. Throw them away. Do not pass go, do not say hello to Mr. Peanut. 

Finally, on the list of thirteen that I found somewhat ludicrious: Turkey and stuffing. This is great timing since we’re just about a month away from Thanksgiving. I don’t know about you, but in my family we’ve had turkey and stuffing since the dawn of time. We’re all still alive and none of us have ever gotten sick from it. Cooking instructions are placed on the turkey packaging for a reason folks, and it’s not to make the label look pretty. My mother has faithfully followed the instructed cooking temperatures and times for stuffed turkey and we’ve enjoyed many a delicious turkey dinner over the years.  I’m sure there are some idiots out there who crank the temperature up in order to cut down on the time. I think the people who come up with the cooking instructions for the turkeys know what they’re talking about. If the bird was meant to be cooked at 500 degrees for 1 hour, then the instructions would say that.

Other items on the list include other no-brainer situations such as raw eggs, raw fish, and the long disputed Evil of All Evil Foods That Could Kill You….raw cookie dough. I’ll admit I’ve nibbled on raw cookie dough when baking cookies, but let’s be serious. If cookie dough was meant to be eaten in it’s non-baked condition then we wouldn’t be given baking instructions for it would we? Again, I wasn’t asked…

In addition to all these foods that could kill you, practically everything we eat can ruin our teeth. Coffee leaves stains, hard candy is a sugar bath for our teeth and that turkey dinner you just ate that I described above has left small offerings inbetween your teeth which will convert into plaque, cause cavities and then become tooth decay. All in a matter of minutes if you don’t brush right NOW! Or…chew on this special gum.

Unfortunately, chewing the gum can ruin your jaw joint….

Peanuts anyone?