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I got in the mail on Friday an offer from Verizon Wireless for a new fancy schmancy cell phone. One where I can snap pictures, txt message, send emails and shoot video with. I can’t recall off hand if the cell phones offered actually allow me to make phone calls.

Anyway, I promptly trashed the offer because the phone I currently have (that indeed does allow me to make phone calls) is only two years old. However, I’m beginning to learn that in this day in age a two year old cell phone is like driving a Model T apparently.

Standing in line at the grocery store last week, the lady in front of me was trying to figure out how to turn the ringer off on her phone. The cashier, who didn’t look a day over 15, gave some very simple instructions and the lady, who looked not a day over 40, had no problem changing the setting. She then added “this phone’s two years old anyway, I’m due for a new one.”

Damn. Doesn’t anybody hang on to anything for more than two years anymore? The only reason I even got a new cell phone two years ago was because the one I had before, the battery died. So I took it in to my friendly Verizon store figuring all I had to get was a new battery right? NO! My then two year old phone was obsolete! The tech guy actually chuckled at me. “Wow! They don’t make this one anymore!” I was waiting for him to fly around the store excitedly showing his co-workers, holding it up like he’d just found the Holy Grail. “Dudes! Lookit this oldie but goodie! I ain’t seen one of these in two years.”

“Woah, dude, lemme see that! Wow! A Motorola! What ancient archeological dig was this unearthed from?”

My purse. Dude, my Firebird they don’t make anymore. It’s 20 freakin’ years old. How can a two year old cell phone suddenly be the equivalent of 60 year old manual typewriter?!

Anyway, since they didn’t make the phone anymore, they obviously didn’t make replacement parts for it. (Yet I can still get replacement parts for my car! HMMMM). And a new cell phone was in my future.

Now, it’s been two years since that time and apparently somebody thinks I need a new phone! And of course, they offer these incredible deals where you pay about 70 bucks for the phone and then get a $70 rebate. Hey, if you’re gonna give me the phone for nothing….just give it to me! Sheesh!

Please make sure I can actually make phone calls with it though!