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Who the hell is Pete Doherty? And why is it he seems to be a constant topic in the celebrity gossip page of my local newspaper?

This much I know: He’s the lead singer of a band I’ve never heard of called Babyshambles. Otherwise, all I know about the poor guy is he’s got severe drug problems and has had various run ins with the law. He’s also Kate Moss’s boyfriend and they were rumored to have married on New Year’s Day 2007 in Thailand. Moss’s people quickly put the kibosh on that rumor. Doherty’s people…well, I have no freakin’ idea. Does he even have “people”?

Anyway, so who the hell is Pete Doherty? I’ll admit I’m not the most up to date on contemporary pop culture, but I don’t live under a rock. I have a television, I listen to the radio, I read the news, I have access to the internet and I do go to the grocery store where I look at the magazine covers and tabloid trash in the check out aisle that scream at me for attention. BRITNEY! PARIS! JESSICA! LINDSAY!

Oh man, WHO GIVES A *$&#!*%!

I mean, really. I’ve decided that if you’re more prominent on the celebrity trash mags of the day, then you are in anything else, your career is over. Finished. Done. Unless you’re Paris Hilton, who’s entire career was born out of being featured on the trash mags and celebrity gossip columns anyway. And get this! Do you know what her claim to fame is? She’s heir to a freakin’ hotel chain. Wowwwwwww! She’s made a CD that apparently nobody’s listening to and did a TV show that very few watched. But the press is just falling all over themselves to get a picture and know every last thing she’s doing!

And I’m working my 9 to 5 job because…ah, well because I’m not skinny enough and I don’t have blonde hair apparently. And I’m not the heir to a multi-million dollar hotel chain. Damn. I wonder if I could apply to be Tom Bodet’s heir? (Okay, he doesn’t own the Motel 6 chain but I think you get my drift.)

Anyway, back to this Pete Doherty dude. Is he anybody I should give a hoot in hell about when there’s a story about him in the celebrity gossip column of my local newspaper? Cripes, he’s been featured enough times I was beginning to wonder what I was missing. Is Babyshambles the next new Beatles? Were they taking the world by storm, selling millions of albums and burning up the charts before the young Mr. Doherty succumbed to the evils of drug use and had the long arm of the law yanking him up by the collar? Should I be putting my entire life on hold to catch up on who he is and this band? I mean, if my local “Capital City Gazette” keeps featuring him in the celebrity section, he must be somebody right?

Well, no. He’s not. According to wikipedia…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babyshambles

Doherty’s claim to fame is merely the fact that he’s had drug troubles and run ins with the law. Wow! Here’s a guy’s whose poster I gotta put on my wall! Here’s a band whose records I should probably buy because it looks like it’s a miracle they actually record any albums to begin with, considering they sometimes don’t show up for their live shows, or Doherty is stoned out of his freakin’ mind and he smashes guitars on stage.

Yawwwwnnnn. Y’know The Who did all that 40 years ago. Been there, done that, please find something different to do.

Anyway, I figure actual completed records from this band must be rare. So they may be collector’s items someday.

Just like Paris Hilton’s CD. Collecting dust in the bargain bin at the local Wal-Mart.

By the way, classy looking guy eh? And what’s with that hat? Who does he think he is, John Lennon?

Not even close. And frankly, never will be.

http://www.realage.com/news_features/tip.aspx?cid=17769&#MI

They’re non-habit forming!

Dunkaccino, bad/moldy foods and car door keypads are still pulling them in. Glenn Miller, Brett Maverick and Pearl Harbor made a few appearances and that stupid water tower maxi pad commericial? That was my highest ranked search string.

Instead of listing my search strings this month though, I’ve decided to take a few of them and expand on them in upcoming posts. The reason being is…well, I encountered one of those Coltrane Trains of Thought as I was going through the list and ended up derailed for about two hours last night.

Here’s what happened: One of the search strings was for “chevy caprice wallpaper for myspace.” Now I’ve talked Chevy Caprices in regard to a new character in the Kin Series, I ranted about the wallpapers at the official GM site and I’ve commented on various aspects of MySpace. I have not created a Chevy Caprice wallpaper for MySpace but suddenly was inspired.

Two hours later, I had this…

And it’s all Jack’s fault! That’s two hours that coulda been spent writing, working on DOHFF, working on my GM site, updating my blog (which was how it started!) or doing any number of other things! But NOOOOOO. I get distracted doing this!

Can’t say I don’t dig it though… 

I’ve been watching Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report” with Stephen Colbert since about July of 2006. I love this show and Colbert is freakin’ hilarious. Since the show’s debut in October 2005, Colbert has amassed an impressive list of accolades. Just recently, he was named US Comedy Arts Festival 2007 Person of the Year.

Previously, Mr. Colbert was named..

Gay.com Person of the Year 2006 (The show “The Colbert Report” also rated as the top favorite television program)

“I Want Media” Person of the Year 2006

One of Time Magazine’s “People Who Mattered” in 2006  (a dubious honor, since the list also included Hugo Chavez, Raul Castro and Muqtada al-Sadr.) 

One of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in 2006.

One of GQ’s Men of the Year 2006.

One of People Magazine’s “Sexy Surprises” 2006

He’s also won a Peabody, a couple of Emmys and half a dozen other smaller awards. Oh, did I mention there’s a bridge in Hungary being named after him and Ben and Jerry’s is introducing an ice cream flavor in his honor?

Who needs an Emmy when you’ve got “Americone Dreams?” (I don’t, give me the ice cream!)

Anyway, I could jump on the bandwagon myself here and announce the winner of the inaugural MaryAnneColtrane.com Man of the Year award but I don’t have any fancy statue or plaque to present to Stephen. So instead I offer my sincere congratulations to Stephen for his many accomplishments so far and for the many more to come.

Congratulations Stephen. You’ll always be “Man of the Year” to me.