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As you know, I watch, rather religiously, the Colbert Report with Stephen Colbert on Comedy Central. However, I never have enough time during the week to catch the shows so I tape them (yes, I still use a VCR) and I watch the episodes on the weekend. I’ve dubbed this ritual “Saturdays With Stephen.” Well, yesterday I spent my Saturday With Stephen catching up on two weeks worth of episodes. Actually, it was only one week because this past week it turns out, he was on vacation. Again. I swear between school vacation weeks and every major Christian holiday, the man takes as much time off as he can. And why the hell not, he’s the one with the wildly successful television show. I’m just a poor sap blogger. 

Anyway! Two weeks ago, Stephen introduced his newest challenge to his audience (known collectively and with affection as the “Colbert Nation”), called “Stephen Colbert - Edited For Your Pleasure.” Now, to those of you out there familiar with the show, you know I don’t need to explain this challenge stuff. To those of you not familiar with it, it’s basically a chance for the audience of the show to take part in the program. Heh! Let’s see Bill O’Reilly do something like this. 

Last summer, Stephen had the “Green Screen Challenge,” where fans could take footage of him doing some slick Jedi knight moves against a green screen and edit him into whatever the hell they wanted. If I recall correctly the whole thing started because somebody out in the “internets” took the footage and just ran with it and somebody at Comedy Central thought, “BRILLIANT!” Thus, a concept was born. 

An additional concept on the Colbert Report is Stephen’s “Better Know a District” segment, in which he interviews congressional representatives from all over the country. The ultimate goal is to interview all 434 members of the House of Representatives. 

Of course, these interviews are serious, hard hitting, no holds barred, Lou Dobb’s inspired reporting. (It’s time to get to the truthiness.) Stephen pulls no punches. Sometimes he leaves the congressional rep completely speechless. 

(Actually, the interviews are complete shtick and are designed to fluster the congressional rep, who, for whatever reason, think they’re about to take part in a real and serious interview and end up in a complete farce and don’t know what exactly they should do, usually proving if nothing else, that they can be poor sports. But don’t tell Stephen that). 

Anyway, as a result of the no holds barred approach of Mr. Colbert, one member of the House is urging other members to not take part in the “Better Know a District” segment, claiming that Stephen has the luxury of editing the interviews to make the reps who go on the show look bad. Or worse. 

Well, in response, Stephen allowed himself to be interviewed and is challenging the members of Colbert Nation to take the footage from that interview and edit it to make Stephen look bad. Or worse. 

Now, I told you all that, to tell you all this… 

I have done a little, and I mean little, movie editing on my computer. Actually, about all I’ve achieved is putting some still pictures together in a nice slide show set to some music and editing some crappy video of me driving down the highway, again set to music. So, as I listened to the interview and to Stephens strategically answered questions, I was inspired. I went to ColbertNation.com, endured a 25 minute download, opened up Windows Movie Maker (because that’s all I’ve got) and….. 

I CAN’T EDIT THE $#&*!$%&ING FOOTAGE I DOWNLOADED!!!! ARGGGHH!!! Windows Movie Maker doesn’t recognize the .mov format. Why does it have to be in QuickTime format only?!?! @#$&%*^!! 

Stephen! Some of us aren’t as technologically savvy (or as rich) as you! Some of us don’t have our own television shows, inspiring millions of people! I have a blog and I inspire maybe six people on a good day. This footage couldn’t be made available in, say, .wmv format for the poorer members of Colbert Nation?! 

Argh. So, my inspiration was thus shot down in flames. *sniff* I still love ya, Stephen, but you sure know how to hurt a girl…