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So I’m reading my Sunday morning newspaper this morning and mixed in with the usual stories of human misery and suffering was this uplifting announcement:

“Settlement Will Reduce Carcinogens in Potato Chips.”

Okay, let’s agree on something right now. ALL food is bad for us. In fact, here’s a sobering statistic: 100% of all people who eat food will die.

Now we got that out of the way, here’s a tip on living dangerously. Eat potato chips. They contain a chemical which can cause cancer.

Yes, cancer.

Crap. I never knew this and never would have guessed in a million years that an innocent little potato chip would be exposing me to cancer. I’ve been eating this junk for years! Currently, I probably have a serving or so of chips 4 or 5 times a week between lunches and suppers. There was no warning of this on my bag of Lay’s Classic Potato Chips. All I ever read was how they use sunflower oil and have no trans fat. All happy stuff.

Great, just when I was feeling good about not increasing my risk of dying from some kind of cardiac ailment I’ve instead been exposing myself to a cancer causing agent for probably the last, oh I dunno….25 years?!

This article, unfortunately, does not say how many bags of chips you would have to eat to basically give yourself cancer, so as the consumer we’re left to wonder if it’s 27 chips or 27 bags. The cancer causing chemical, Acrylamide, forms naturally when starchy foods are baked or fried. As the article states, the chemical also has an industrial use and has been shown to cause cancer in lab animals and contribute to nerve damage to workers who were exposed to high levels.

What exactly would be considered a high level of exposure in regards to potato chips, the article doesn’t state. Thus, the next time I open a bag of chips I’ll be left to wonder and will pause for a moment to relish in my moment of living dangerously.

*crunch* Mmm…I didn’t know cancer could taste so good.